#trustissues // Leading Teens from Revoked to Renewed Trust

As a student pastor, you see the teens you work with on their highest of highs and lowest of lows.  Lately, I have noticed the low-point conversations centering on a particular issue: trust.  Part of the definition of the word trust is reliance on and confidence in the truth, worth, and reliability of a person or thing. I have found myself sitting time after time in my office, living rooms and coffee shops with students discussing and array of issues stemming from broken trust.  The issues that they express usually have something to do with people in their life becoming unreliable, causing them to loose confidence in friends and leaders in their lives.   I’ve listened to teens recount what people in their lives have said to them… deeply wounding them and causing them to question their own worth.  I hear teens and young adults question what and who are really “true.”  They have experienced broken trust with parents, adults in their lives, friends, and dating relationships… and I am seeing a picture of a generation that is having a difficult time trusting… anyone.

 A Culture of Revoked Trust

I am on Twitter.  And as a student pastor, a large number of my students are on Twitter as well. It has been a great way for me to keep up with our students and what is going on in their lives, and it is quickly becoming a major vocal platform for a generation of teens and young adults.  Twitter started as a 140 character “micro-blogging” avenue based on the question “what are you doing right now.”  Teens, I have noticed, have taken it a step further – not just answering the question of what they are doing, but what they are thinking and feeling as well.  Part of Twitter is the “hashtag.” The # symbol, called a hashtag, is used to mark keywords or topics in a Tweet – it is a way Twitter users group and categorize messages.  Recently I had noticed some of our teens using the hashtag #trustissues following some rather heavy tweets about family, relationships and life in general.  I know it started in relation to a popular R&B song, but when you follow the #trustissues hashtag, you find and endless scroll of 140 character blurbs laden with the broken trust of a generation.  Full of colorful language, you see the issues of a generation rising to the surface… and it is not pretty.  Actually, it is heartbreaking. One tweet that I noticed summed it up for me as it said, “I have to consider everybody as being fake until proven real…”

This young generation is shaping culture… and it is a culture of revoked trust.  What has lead to all of the trust issues that teens and young adults have today? Could it be the staggering divorce rate in the United States?  Could it be the continual news of the short comings of coaches and teachers, politicians and pastors?  Maybe it’s the barrage of entertainment and media, laced with the social issues of the day that are constantly in their face – or maybe it’s the new connectivity that social media has provided to a generation to air out their trust issues.  Maybe it is all of the above and then some.  Whatever the cause, we must seek to rebuild that trust.

 A Culture of Renewed Trust 

As ministers and community leaders, we must make a commitment to rebuild and re-instill trust in a generation of teens and young adults.  The tough thing is that trust is something that is earned – not just freely granted or picked up in a teaching session.  It is hard to gain and easily lost.  Trust is something that a young generation will need to have re-instilled in them through experience. Teens and young adults will need to have trustworthy people in place in their lives – they will need to experience something different that will offset the trust issues they have been bombarded with, and in turn choose to walk in it, and begin to model it for others around them.  We need to create a culture of renewed trust.

 

As we seek to take culture from revoked to renewed trust, here are a few points to consider:

1.  Be a listening ear.  The saying, “no one cares how much you know until they know how much you care” is true.  You let a teen know that they matter when you are attentive and listening to their story.  Build trust by hearing them out, understanding where they are coming from and what they are going through.

2. Be encouraging.  Young people encounter a lot of discouraging things through out the day.  As adults we may hear about some of their issues and consider them to be petty, but what we may see as “petty” is earth-shattering to them, and it is shaping who they are.  Discouragement has a snowball effect – take the petty issues and roll them up with the deeper issues day after day and we have got problems.  Build trust by being a fresh voice of encouragement in their lives.  Position yourself in a place of direct contrast to the discouragement they may be experiencing in other areas of their lives.  Become the most encouraging person they know.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        3. Be transparent.  Open up and speak to them out of your own life experience.  Build trust by teaching them out of your own triumph and tragedy.  When a generation considers “everyone is being fake until proven real” your transparency will help you earn credibility as you share the stories behind your scars.

4. Be present.  One of the greatest things you can share with a teen is time spent with them.  In an over-digitized world ruled by texts and Facebook, true face to face relationship has a huge impact.  Build trust by capitalizing on the time you spend with them.  Leverage the time you have as a student pastor or mentor to literally be there, interacting with them.

5. Be a person of Godly character and integrity.  Teens can spot a fake a mile away.  Build trust by being the real deal.  Let them see you living out your faith, continually pursuing God, striving to be more like Jesus. Go beyond being just being good and strive to be Godly in front of a generation.  Let them see and hear you pray.  Let them see you live a lifestyle of worship.  Let them hear you speak the Word of God.  Let them see you trust in the Lord with all your heart, and not lean on your own understanding.  Let them see you acknowledge Him in everything you do… and let it build an ultimate trust in a God that will lead them in an everlasting way.

Today’s teens and young adults live in a culture of revoked trust.  Lets turn the tide and create a culture of renewed trust.  Listen to them.  Be open.  Be there for them, encourage them and be someone truly living out your faith in front of them.  One of the greatest things you can do is earn a spot on the radar screen in the life of a young person, becoming someone they can look to, talk to, share life with… and trust.

Printable Student Ministry PDF – “Notes From the Trenches.”

This is a free PDF of “notes from the trenches.” These are notes I’ve penned out through the years – print it out and hopefully it can provide a little insight, help you ask yourself some healthy questions, and help get the creative wheels turning.

Included in the PDF are notes on…

• 3 tier discipleship filter
• 3 tier financial filter
• 3 tier time management filter
• notes on maintaining mental toughness in ministry
• transitioning 6th graders into your ministry
• and more…

The Thursday Session Notes From The Trenches

Road Rules: Things You Should Know Before You Get In the Van (part 6 of 6)

The road trip is one of the greatest things about student ministry.  Adventure.  Memories.  Laughs…God-awful smells from the back of the van.  This is the sixth post in a 6 part series on the things you should know before you get in the van with a bunch of students and go somewhere.  You can find the first post HERE, the second post HERE, the third post HERE, the fourth post HERE, and the fifth post HERE.

You might also be interested in these posts as well: Social Birdflu: How Twitter Almost Killed Our Student Ministry , Social Birdflu Part 2: When Words Take Flight, and 10 Tips For Transitioning New 6th Graders Into Your Student Ministry

These are insights that I have picked up mostly from getting my tail kicked by experience.  The better prepared you are to handle life on the road, the better chance you have to provide an experience that your students will never forget!

Things you should know before you get in the van continued…

1. Keep the binder with the medical release info handy!

You never know when a student is going to get hurt. And when it happens, its ALWAYS at some crazy, totally inopportune time.  Go ahead and keep the medical info with you.  Invest in a good backpack and keep your youth pastor essentials close:  medical info, cash, directions, schedules, redbull, the money the middle school mom gave you so he doesn’t blow it all… you know the drill.

2. Petty cash…. You can never have enough

If you have the ability to, be sure to carry petty cash with you on the trip.  This is a real help when it comes to situations needing quick cash: parking fees, toll roads, wallets left in the suitcase in the back of the trailer, and when your church card gets put on hold because you forgot to notify them that you were traveling out of the region (yes… I’ve had that one happen…)

3. Prepare your leadership spiritually

Whether you are headed to foreign soil for missions work or Six Flags for the day… prepare your leadership spiritually.  Time spent purposefully with your teens is ALWAYS well spent – no matter where you are.  If you prepare your leadership to capitalize on “God moments” and breakthrough conversations, its going to be a fruitful trip.

• Spend time in prayer together
• Spend time reviewing the trip schedule, identifying high-impact moments
• Spend time briefing your leaders on small group questions, etc…

4. Have in mind what you want to see accomplished in the lives of your students

Why are you taking this trip with your group?  What do you want to see happen?

• Do you want your group to grow in unity?
• Do you want your group to grow in compassion?
• Do you want your group to serve the community?
• Do you want your group to __________?

Think it through, then communicate it to the leaders you have on the trip.  It will help keep them sharp and focused – looking for ways to get the job done.

5. Capitalize on EVERY moment you have to pour into your students, and train your leaders to do so as well

I’ve found that you can accomplish more in the life of a student in a concentrated weekend away than in 3 months of ministry on Wednesday/Sunday.  Get them out of their normal routine and away from their normal influences and allow God to do some work in their lives.  Life on the road with students is FULL of moments to speak into their lives.  Take advantage of those and tell your leaders to do the same.

10 Tips For Transitioning New 6th Graders Into Your Student Ministry

This picture says so much about middle school ministry.

Before you know it, it will be August.  A new school year will be upon you, your ministry, and the families in your church… and you will have a crop of new 6th graders that will need to find a place in your student ministry.

Here are 10 tips to help the transition from Children’s ministry to Student ministry:

1.  Start EARLY. 

If you wait until the last week of July or worse, the beginning of August, to make plans on how to welcome your new batch of 6th graders, you’ve waited too late!  It will be time to scramble to help them get acclimated to life in student ministry… a whole new world to them… and mom and dad.

2. Remember: You’re not just transitioning students, you’re also transitioning parents – it’s a family thing. 

Mom and dad are probably struggling with this – their little one is growing up.  They’ve heard the stories about the “outreach” kids in your group. The thought of their child mixing with high school students terrifies them… You have to remember its not just about getting a new middle schooler from point A to point B – its mom and dad as well!

3. A good relationship between the Children’s ministry and the Youth ministry is KEY.

I look at it like this:  my student ministry begins with a FULL support of the children’s ministry.  Chris, our children’s pastor and I get along.  We work together, and most importantly, we work together on this transition.  I recently spoke on this topic in a breakout session at a ministry conference – I couldn’t believe how many children’s pastors & student pastors were shocked when they found out that Chris and I got along!  I heard story after story of separated departments that fought between themselves when it came to transition time… if that’s the case where you are at, do whatever it takes to get the relationship between ministries healthy.

4. Ministry transition shouldn’t be an “event” it should be a process.

In life we have a year’s worth of seasonal changes. Think of your first year with a new 6th grader as a series of seasons:

•  Fall – Things are changing.  It is the closing of a chapter of their life – help them as they close out their children’s ministry years and turn over a “new leaf” so to speak.
• Winter – the bleak period – get them through their adjustment time.  This is a crucial time when they MUST feel accepted and build relationships.
• Spring – watch them bloom as they get comfortable in the youth ministry.  Confidence will grow and their personality will show.
• Summer – chronicle their journey, and let them see how far they’ve come in a year.  Pictures, videos, etc will be awesome for the student and their parents as well.  6th graders change so much in a year – help them take note of the growth in their own lives, and provide a cool keepsake for the family.

5.  Prepare the parents.

• Establish communication – connect with them early and be the one to make the first move. This is a big step for them, and the earlier you begin to connect with them and build trust, the better!
• Be available to answer questions – have an “open door” for parents and upcoming students to explore the ministry ahead of time and meet with you in your office, etc…
• A great way to build trust – Make sure your ministry systems and leaders are in place. Make sure that new parents can tell that your ministry has its act together.

6. Prepare the students

Capitalize on the summer between the 5^th and 6^th grade year.  This is a great time to establish connection with your upcoming students, connect with youth leaders, offer blended events with current middle school students, organize events to help the class that is moving up get a jump start bonding with each other, and building overall excitement as they prepare to transition into student ministry.

7. Think “life moment” not “move up date.”

• Make it a big deal. Make it memorable. Make it fun. Make it spiritual. Make it first class – go all out for them and make a lasting impression with your first impression!
• Promote well in advance
• Get parents involved, get the children’s ministry involved, get the youth ministry involved
• Follow up afterwards

8. Go all out with the welcome experience

• Roll out the red carpet – make it a night they won’t forget
• Give the official tour of the student ministry
• Get youth leaders and “big brothers & big sisters” involved

9. Find a healthy balance & be understanding

• Not every kid is completely for a clean break – work with that.  Some will be chomping at the bit to get you youth group, some will have a slower transition.  Middle schoolers have a varied maturity level – I’ve found it best to not force a student into a situation they’re not ready for.  Our children’s pastor and I work together on that one.
• Have specific leaders that cater to the age group.  Some leaders are middle school ministry all stars… some are not.  Make sure you have leaders in place that can be loving and understanding.
• Plan for age specific events to help the group gel even more

10. Prepare to journey with them

These are your future high schoolers!  The more you pour into them, the healthier your ministry will be in the long run!

• Create a system for your middle schoolers to journey with mentors – Establish leadership in their lives. Also, mentors help build the trust factor with parents.
• Create a system for your middle schoolers to journey with peers – be intentional providing times for the group to gel.  Peers help build the social factor that keeps them coming back.

Road Rules: Things You Should Know Before You Get In the Van (part 5 of 6)

The road trip is one of the greatest things about student ministry.  Adventure.  Memories.  Laughs…God-awful smells from the back of the van.  This is the fifth post in a 6 part series on the things you should know before you get in the van with a bunch of students and go somewhere.  You can find the first post HERE, the second post HERE, the third post HERE, and fourth post HERE.

You might also be interested in these posts as well: Social Birdflu: How Twitter Almost Killed Our Student Ministry and Social Birdflu Part 2: When Words Take Flight

These are insights that I have picked up mostly from getting my tail kicked by experience.  The better prepared you are to handle life on the road, the better chance you have to provide an experience that your students will never forget!

Things you should know before you get in the van continued…

1. Designate a banker and a drug dealer

Some kids just can’t handle money.  If you are on an extended trip, it may be wise to help them manage it so they don’t blow it all with in the first few hours you are on the road.

Talk to their parents before hand – if they feel that their child will need help with managing their money, find an organized and trusted leader that can take on that responsibility.  It helps you, it helps the student, and it allows a leader to step up in responsibility.  Definite win.

2. Meet up times / check in times

Over communicate these to leaders and students!  During long days with extended free time, check in times help you keep track of your crew.

3. Relationship issues… Set the standard up front, then keep your radar on

No one wants to deal with PDA on a youth trip.  You don’t. Leaders don’t. Other students don’t. Set the standard for relationship expectations upfront, during a pre-trip meeting WITH PARENTS PRESENT.  Lay out the rules – they heard them & mom and dad heard them.  I’ve always laid out these 2 basic rules:

• Dating relationships are to be put on hold for the duration of the trip
• Any issues arising with couples on the trip will be addressed by the student pastor and will result in a call to parents.

For the most part, when I make it known that mom and dad will be notified if there are any issues… problem solved.

HOWEVER… keep your radar on for sneaky couples and encourage your leaders to do the same.

4. If reserved seats are available, they’re worth it – get them.

Any pressure you can take off of your schedule is worth it.  If an event offers perks like reserved seating – go the extra mile.

5. Allow time in your schedule for mishaps and traffic

Its always a good idea to build “buffer” time into your schedule.  Traffic and road woes happen.  Its always good to have more than enough time than it is to be constantly rushed and pushing to keep up with your schedule.

Road Rules: Things You Should Know Before You Get In the Van (part 4 of 6)

The road trip is one of the greatest things about student ministry.  Adventure.  Memories.  Laughs…God-awful smells from the back of the van.  This is the third post in a 6 part series on the things you should know before you get in the van with a bunch of students and go somewhere.  You can find the first post HERE, the second post HERE and the third post HERE.

You might also be interested in these posts as well: Social Birdflu: How Twitter Almost Killed Our Student Ministry and Social Birdflu Part 2: When Words Take Flight

These are insights that I have picked up mostly from getting my tail kicked by experience.  The better prepared you are to handle life on the road, the better chance you have to provide an experience that your students will never forget!

Things you should know before you get in the van continued…

1.  Be the hero – plan ahead for late night food

Students are ALWAYS hungry.  Take a look at your trip schedule, and find a time to be the hero with the pizza or the tacos.  This goes a long way with hungry students!  It may take a little leg work – some research around the area, checking into what would be to most cost effective option, making a few calls, and organizing a pick up or meeting a delivery guy – but the pay off is worth it.  A late night snack is great for a hungry group, gives added time to build relationships and process the day, and lessens hallway wandering time. 

2.  Have plan B already planned… just in case

Due to the fact you can always expect the unexpected… its always good to go ahead an have “plan B” already prepared as you craft the schedule and in’s and out’s of your trip.  Again, it may take a little extra leg work, but the pay off is well worth it!

Things that are “plan B” worthy:

• Alternate travel routes
• Having each student pack a change of clothes in a carry on
• Alternate late night food options
• Ways to keep your group occupied if you have to be flexible with your schedule (if you’ve been on a mission trip with a group, this is bound to happen).
• Extra cash – just in case

3.  Watch out for hidden costs

When you’re on the road, don’t forget to think ahead and prepare for hidden costs that can spring up!  Toll roads, parking garage and street parking fees, hotel parking fees, vehicle issues (oil, air for tires, etc…), having to rent a roll away bed in a hotel room, and the kid that blew ALL his money at the first stop are just a few to think about!

4.  Delegate responsibilities

In an earlier post I mentioned the importance of taking care of yourself on road trips – you’re the leader – you have to be on point.  Part of that is also understanding that you can’t do EVERYTHING.  Take a look at the schedule and what it takes to pull off the trip and ask yourself “what responsibilities can I delegate to other leaders?”

A few things to consider:

• loading / unloading luggage
• curfew room checks
• handling medications
• handling students trip money
• driving the van
• coordinating meals
• evening or morning devotions
• trip video

It may take some coaching time with your leaders, but it will take pressure off of you in the long run.

5.  Middle schoolers… will be middle schoolers

Working with middle schoolers can be beautiful mayhem.  Just know that going into it!  They are not going to act, listen, and respond like high school students – so don’t expect them to!  Build relationships with them, cater to their playfulness, capitalize on key moments to pour into their lives, and just know that middle schoolers will be middle schoolers.

Will it be crazy at times? You bet.  But remember that they are your next wave of Sr highers – every moment you spend building them up is a moment you spend building the future health of your group.

Road Rules: Things You Should Know Before You Get In the Van (part 3 of 6)

The road trip is one of the greatest things about student ministry.  Adventure.  Memories.  Laughs…God-awful smells from the back of the van.  This is the third post in a 6 part series on the things you should know before you get in the van with a bunch of students and go somewhere.  You can find the first post HERE and the second post HERE.

These are insights that I have picked up mostly from getting my tail kicked by experience.  The better prepared you are to handle life on the road, the better chance you have to provide an experience that your students will never forget!

Things you should know before you get in the van continued…

1.  Keep your leaders in the know

This is key to your event running smoothly!

Prepare them ahead of time! Give them a clear picture of what needs to be accomplished.  Give them a basic schedule so they know what to expect when it comes to places, times and logistics.

Prepare them each morning! Have brief meetings – even if its just 5 min during the group breakfast or as everyone is loading up – give a rundownn of the day so everyone is on the same page. There’s nothing worse than confusion with a group because different leaders are giving conflicting directions.

Prepare them each evening! If something is going to go haywire during a trip its probably going to be at night.  Remind your leaders about curfew times, how to act in the hotel (or where ever), how NOT to act in the hotel, when everyone needs to be up the next morning, etc…

And remember – if it seems like overkill, its not!

 

2.  Leaders can be more trouble than students at times

Be careful who you allow to be a leader out on the road with you and the group.  Not everyone is cut out for it. Just because someone is fun-loving and the life of the party does not mean that they should be helping direct a group of students away from home.

When tapping chaperones for trips, look for character, integrity and maturity… not water balloon tying skills.

 

3.  Be careful with rooming… bad student to student combos or leader to student combos can be trouble

Some people just don’t do well together in close quarters.  Know your students.  Know your leaders.  Know which ones will be able mesh in rooming situations.  Different student to student and leader to student combos can bring out the best and the worst in people at times!

 

4.  Capitalize on catch phrases, trip mascots, jokes, etc…

Trips are memory makers – make the most out of them!  Funny things will happen, jokes will catch, etc… use that to your advantage. When the whole group is in on a joke or catch phrase it adds a great dynamic .  It will also give the group something to talk about, joke about, etc when you get back.

 

5.  Keep the group guessing with special, unexpected things

Get creative and keep them guessing what will happen next!

One thing that I have done in the past is the “servant’s heart” award.  When I see a student going the extra mile to help someone out, pick up trash in a restaurant or hotel, help others with luggage, etc, I would call them up in front of the group, give them the servant’s heart award and buy them lunch or dinner that day.  After doing that once, EVERYONE was going the extra mile to help out.

Ideas:  Plan to pay for a lunch or dinner they did not expect to get free, provide a snack bag for hotel rooms, donuts delivered to their room for breakfast, trip t-shirts they didn’t know they would get… the possibilities are endless, and anything special and unexpected (even the little things) add to the trip!

Communication: Know What Makes People Tick and What Ticks Them Off

Here’s a thought…
When it comes to communication, it’s probably best to find out what makes people tick and what ticks them off. Knowing both will keep your communication steered in the right direction.

If you are in a position where you are working with people constantly, this might be a good thought to keep in the back of your mind. Learning what makes people tick will enable you to motivate and inspire them, and learning what ticks them off will enable you to have a communication filter, and will help you choose timing and approach when you need to have “one of those” conversations…

Leading others has a lot to do with reading people… and there’s no formula you can use across the board to handle everyone.  You have to take it situation by situation, person by person – and that takes learning how you need to communicate with them personally. I’ve found that learning what makes those around you tick, and what ticks them off is a big help.

Road Rules: Things You Should Know Before You Get In the Van (part 2 of 6)

The road trip is one of the greatest things about student ministry.  Adventure.  Memories.  Laughs…God-awful smells from the back of the van.  This is second post in a 6 part series on the things you should know before you get in the van with a bunch of students and go somewhere.  You can find the first post HERE.

These are insights that I have picked up mostly from getting my tail kicked by experience.  The better prepared you are to handle life on the road, the better chance you have to provide an experience that your students will never forget!

1. As the leader of the trip, take care of yourself! 

As the leader, it’s on you!  Rest up before hand, because you know you won’t get any rest during the trip! You’ll spend your days driving, directing traffic, solving conflicts and initiating plan “b”… your nights will be all about making sure your kids don’t sneak out, pull pranks and get into any other mischief.

• Plan ahead so you don’t have to scramble later
• Plan ahead so you can actually get the rest you need instead of packing at the last minute
• Delegate to other leaders so you can have some down time during the trip

2. Transportation problems will happen

Your old-school church van with a million miles shouldn’t be trusted.  Take care of a few things before you hit the road, and lessen the chance of super-frustrating auto woes springing up.

• Get the oil changed
• Check the tires
• Check the trailer hitch and connections
• Check the trailer tires (speaking out of personal experience on this one!)
• Make sure you have a spare (yeah… more personal experience…)
• Make sure you have the necessities – jack, flashlight, first aid kit, etc..

3. Make friends with the bus driver

If you have the luxury of not having to drive, do yourself a favor and make friends with the bus driver!  They’re a strange breed, and its in your best interest to get on their good side.  Let’s face it, your schedule is in their hands.

4. Over communicate everything

When teens are AMPED about being on a trip, they’re not always going to get everything you’re saying.  They’ll be talking about what just happened, joking around, flirting with someone, texting the person in the row in front of them, listening to their ipod, etc…  Even leaders won’t hear it all – they’ll be trying to sleep because the kid in their room that didn’t, telling some one “don’t do that,” or on the phone with the other van that just got lost…  Over communicate everything: plans for the day, meeting times, road rules, and the like.

• Meet with your leaders in the morning and talk through the day
• Meet with your leaders in the evening and remind them of any guidelines, and prep them for the following day
• Use your leaders to relay messages to all the students
• Announce, announce again, repeat.
• “Write the vision down…” hand out schedules for the day, weekend, etc…

5. Get cell numbers, use mass text, etc…

Technology makes keeping up with your students a whole lot easier!  Use it! One great thing is the fact that most teens have cell phones – gather the numbers and remind your group via text about meet up times, what’s coming up, etc…

Have a “wish I would have known before I got in the van” story?  I’d love to hear it!

Road Rules: Things You Should Know Before You Get In the Van (part 1 of 6)

The road trip is one of the greatest things about student ministry.  Adventure.  Memories.  Laughs…God-awful smells from the back of the van.  This is the first post in a 6 part series on the things you should know before you get in the van with a bunch of students and go somewhere.  These are insights that I have picked up mostly from getting my tail kicked by experience.  The better prepared you are to handle life on the road, the better chance you have to provide an experience that your students will never forget!

1.  Expect the unexpected

This may be one of the top ten rules of student ministry over all.  Its the honest truth.  Go anywhere with a group of teenagers and leaders for any extended amount of time, and you NEVER know what can happen.  Just be ready.

• Flat tires
• Bee stings
• “You tried to open the van door on the interstate… SERIOUSLY?!?!”
• Lost money.  Spent money. Didn’t bring money in the first place.
• Middle schoolers cussing out people in restaurants.
• Interns giving your cell number to the person that just got cussed at.
• Fights & pranks that go too far.
• Barf bags.
• Lost keys.
• Hotel fires.
• Traffic and blown schedules.
• Sunburns and explosive diarrhea.

All of these and more… road experiences from trips I’ve taken with students.  Expect the unexpected.

2.  Prepare as much as possible, but be ready for anything – be flexible

You can have your schedule and itinerary – and someone will be massively late.  You can have your trip rules – and students and leaders will push the limits of them.  You can have your hotel reservations – and they will get mixed up somehow.  You can have the van serviced before you leave – and still something will go haywire.   When things happen that are unexpected – just roll with the punches. Be flexible.  Your leadership and patience WILL be stretched – but remember this:  the amount of flexibility you as the leader react to the situation with, will affect the amount of flexibility your group reacts to the situation with.

Go ahead and stretch yourself out and get flexible… because road trips will stretch you!

3.  Set the standards in the pre-trip meeting

Set the bar high.  Lay out your expectations to students and parents.  Lay out the consequences.  Make sure everyone  knows where you stand.  I’ve always set this standard up front – respect people around you, respect property, respect places we visit.  I’ve also made it very clear that as soon as problems with a student arise, Mom and Dad WILL get involved via phone call.

4.  Never show your entire hand to a group of teens

Teens can smell fear.  They can also smell a completed rooming list from a mile away.  One thing that I do to avoid a whole lot of unnecessary trip drama is to not reveal the rooming list until the last minute possible.  This has eliminated so many questions and requests and has also kept the student to student drama down.  I’ll usually break out the room list when we arrive at the hotel and make sure they know that its final.

What they don’t know is that I’ve been working behind the scenes putting the rooms together:  What students mix well with others, and what leaders mix well with what students.

Not EVERYONE needs to know EVERY DETAIL of the trip ALL the TIME.

5.  Be careful with discipline and who you empower to discipline

Make sure your leaders are trained on handling issues with students on the trip.  Its scary to think that you could be one leader loosing it away from severely damaging your ministry.

• Take note of which leaders are and are not able to handle issues that arise with students
• Let your leaders know that you are OK with playing “bad-cop” – let them off the hook
• Encourage them to dispel and handle minor issues and refer the major ones to you
• Build some leader down-time into your trip.  Allow them to refresh – people who are agitated and annoyed for an extended amount of time can do some crazy things!